I've Got The Power!

Yin and yang. Ebony and ivory. Some things do live together in perfect harmony, but men are women aren't two of these things. Yes, we can co-habit successfully, and learn to live with the faults ("another pair of shoes?" , "can i have the remote tonight?" "can you stop shagging my boss, Gerard Butler, please darling?"), but there is always the unspoken struggle for The Power.

Ahhh, The Power. A dating truth brought to my attention by a good friend a few years ago. She is a wise little lady, and has come out with some classic theories in her time - another favourite of mine is the one that all single, gorgeous, nice men, are living on a remote island somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. Anyway, her theory of The Power (it's so pinnacle in my dating life, I feel the need to use capitals), is the sanest thing to come out of her mouth in years.

The Power was explained to me one sunny day a few years back. I had just started dating the Moaner (the one who moaned in his sleep), and was having a few issues. He'd got back from holiday and told me he didn't want a relationship. I was a little put out as we'd had a fabulous date and he was just my type (oh how silly and foolish I was - we live and learn). I was sat down and had it explained to me that Moaner had The Power, and I needed to regain it. How? Simples. I told him I too wasn't up for a relationship, and was in fact dating two other guys. Quicker than you could sing "I've got the power" he'd changed his tune, and had a romantic weekend in Oxford booked for us. I'd regained The Power, and for a while it worked. (He was in fact a prize knob jockey, and ditched me before we could have said weekend in Oxford, for a slutty Swede he'd met during the World Cup. She agreed to do things between the sheets that I wouldn't. I am a Lady you know).

But the principle stayed with me, and I now try (I don't always succeed) in following a few Power rules...

1) Never answer a call or text for a few hours. Makes them wonder what you're up to. Especially if they're being stupid and trying to manipulate you. Play hard to get. The only flaw is when both parties follow this rule, neither texts and 2 years later you bump into him in Tesco, where you both ignore each other as you STILL don't want to give one another The Power. You'll end up single, lonely, apart from all your rescue cats, and will collect the local kids footballs when they come flying over your hedge, whilst still muttering "I've got the power". Too far people. Too far.

2) Initially never let them know how interested you are. This goes both ways. Unless I'm head over heels, nothing makes me cringe more than a guy sending me lovey dovey texts where he calls me babe, or worse, pet names. I have run for the hills many a time in this situation - "Muffin" after one date was pretty horrific, but the all time low was the guy who put on a soppy voice and said "ahh, bunny-wunny, do you have to go?". There was a Lady Danger hole in the wall. By letting them know how interested you are, you loose The Power. Any chance of you getting The Power back after a soppy slip, is slim to none. Only a few have done so, and even then its a friend of a friend's niece's auntie's gran's neighbour. Unless, of course, you both feel the same. In this case, you're onto a winner, and Power is pretty much void. You are also very lucky and should start thinking of who you want as your best man / bridemaids.

3) If you are in the dating scenario where other people are initially involved (other dates - I'm not talking about swinging and Derek the greengrocer again), then act cool and aloof. Do not always be available, cancel a date ("A" date - do not do it more than once - that's Power suicide) and under no circumstances should you sleep with them at this point. Sex IS Power. (Any sexual occurences other than kissing are OUT; off the list and are not to be partaken in).

Three simple rules to gain Power. But do not abuse The Power. Abusing The Power can lead to very bad karmic consequences. You will be classed as a game player, and will be tarnished within your dating community. You may also be run out of town by a mad bunch of locals brandishing pitch forks....or maybe I'm just letting my imagination run away with me?

The Power is fun, and is has been a part of dating from the days when cave men clubbed their women over the head (a slightly primitive form, but successful all the same). The Power struggle between the sexes will go on forever, and we enjoy it, as when all is said and done, wouldn't life be really dull without the thrill of the date, and the fight for relationship equality?