Cougar Or Cub?

There's a lot in the press at the moment, about dating younger men. Cougar Town, the hit US TV show, with the gorgeous Courtney Cox, brings the subject of the rules of dating and age to the fore front of the media. Demi Moore is the most obvious cougar out there, married to Ashton Kutcher, and on the other scale, we have Catherine Zeta Jones, married to Micheal Douglas.I myself have just turned a year older, and I have to say, men my age of a good quality, are a rare breed. Because of this, I have recently decided to investigate the pros and cons of dating up and down on the age front.

Firstly, I am thankfully too young to be classed as a cougar. I checked this stat out straight after I was sober enough to use my laptop after my birthday celebrations. That aside, I did decide to look into broadening my age range criteria. I have always said, that I would never date anyone younger than my nephew (five years younger than me) or older than my next sister (11 years older). But, this week, I have two dates set up to test whether my rules need to be broken. The things I have considered are the obvious, and so far, from initial research; reading articles and talking to others, there is quite a clear divide to base my decision on...


Money:
The older man is a definite winner here 9/10. Most older men will have matured within their career, and be happy with their lot in life. Younger men might be a little flash with the cash if they have it, and want to wine and dine you at some restaurant or bar they class as "trendy", whereas your older date will take you somewhere "nice". The down side is, an older man is likely to be paying out for a string of ex wives / kids, and a younger man is more than likely going to be spending it on flash cars and thinking he looks the don, or have a ever growing tab rivalling that of a debt of third world country at his local boozer. One all here me thinks.

Conversation. It goes without saying that a older man will have had more life experience, and therefore more likely to be worldly wise. But a younger guy will have a little more zest for life about him, and want to experience new things. Saying that, I have had dates with older guys where they seem to yabber on about things I have no idea about (for example, the date who talked on and on about the death of John Lennon and where he was when he heard, then asking me where I was - I was 2 years old. Probably asleep or running round my garden naked. Ironically, that's what I was doing when i heard about Diana's death - joke).Or the worst - the younger, very fit guy I dated who thought Audrey Hepburn was a boxer. I kid you not. Wouldn't have minded, but he was shite in bed to boot. One nil to the older man on this one.

Sex. The last point leads nicely on to a very important factor, the seX factor. Now, I know sex isn't everything, but I am pretty sure, that the 59 year old, tanned, wrinkly man from Belgium that winked at me on match.com last weekend, would not have the sexual stamina of the 24 year old from Turkey that winked at me yesterday. (I really have to check the amount of "miles from" I have specified on my profile - unless I have moved, neither Turkey or Belgium are within 20 miles of my house). Anyway, here, I am a little stuck - I have had a variation in partners over the years, and I have to say a few of the best were the older ones. Admittedly, they were the ones with the confidence and bodies to match - I'm sure had the failed game show host get me THAT drunk (IE dead) his body would not have been a visual treat. (For those that know his current profession, I am ashamed to tell you he was recently dressed as a Play Boy Bunny on TV. I felt physically sick). But for me, the body isn't the bee all and end all....its the confidence and 007 of it all. The younger man may have the stamina, but the lack of confidence really does mean that the older men have this one. Just not the 59 year old ones with wrinkled skin and Viagra in their top draw. Two nil to the older man. Zero for the really older man.

Social Status. OK, say hypothetically, my dates go well this week, I will have to consider that I may have to introduce one of them to my friends. A critical / piss taking (but lovely) bunch at times, I'm trying to imagine which would fit in better? Would an older man be happy to join me and my lot getting smasho on pink fizz, and put up with my drunken theories on Al Qaeda using Subway as a front in the Western world? (Sorry Subway Brighton - it was quite simply because I hate your food. It was a pissed statement, and a mildly sweeping one). Although to be fair, would any man be happy to put up with me doing that???? Possibly not. But either an older man or a younger man would need balls of steel to a)meet my mates b)let me meet their mates. No points for either here.

Children. Either could have them, but lets face facts, an older man is more likely to have a band of children hidden away, or be on a time line to have them. Or not want them at all. So this poses an issue. Looking at dog eared pics of Sally and Tommy as babies on date one is a very boring first date occurrence. Having to potentially look after them - highly unappealing. Wanting you to knock a few kids out pronto is also off the cards. Younger men get the short term points, but not the future prospect.I don't want to be 45 and preggers. A point young-uns!

Dates. Future dates with an older man will involve: walking the dog; walks in the country; drives in the country in a nice car; work parties; golf parties; nice meals; weekends away. Very nice. But I need my pink fizz and kebabs. And so to the younger man - future dates with whom would be: festivals; concerts; the latest 3D film; their mates new bands first gig; trendy bars with gorgeous young people; their mates 25th birthday.......hmmmmmmmm. I'll either die from walking too much, or be jailed for shooting my boyfriend for making me use a portaloo for the weekend. Nil points!

The Future. One has one, one's living it. One is likely to whisk me away to a chateau in France where (guess what?) we'll walk a lot, but I can always marry his fit son from his first marriage, when he crocks from eating too much cheese and fine wine. The other, younger, will have me shacked up in a new build in some trendy part of town, and I'll be addicted to the treadmill in a vain attempt to hold onto him. He will still run off with the fit 21 year old from the office. Old man all the way!

So, from the above simple pros and cons, I have established that for me a older guy is the better option, but one that can put up with my wayward and sometimes childish lifestyle. I only hope that by the time I am telling two blokes just out of prison, that I'm a copper for shits and giggles, he's safely tucked up with a Horlicks and News Night. And he'll pay for the plastic surgery I'll most probably need after being headbutted. For now, I'll see how my two luncheon dates go - ones chosen Waggamama, the other afternoon tea. Dare you to guess which ones which.....