Daydream Believer

From a very young age, I have had an exceptional over active imagination. I put it down to the fact, that I was more or less an only child, thanks to being a late addition to the family (big shock when Mum realised it wasn't the change, and was in fact me in her belly). This, mixed with a difficult start in life, meant that I had a lot of time playing by myself. (All together - AHHHHHHH). As a wee nipper, (Lady Danger Junior),I spent most of my time either playing with my extensive Barbie collection, or playing Cinderella. Well actually, I was obsessed by a film called The Slipper And The Rose, based on Cinderella, and used to pretend I was the main character, and Richard Chamberlain was my prince coming to rescue me.(If you know who Richard Chamberlain is, please appreciate that it was a loooong time ago and I was about six).I'm still waiting for my prince. Richard Chamberlain is now 76 though so I'd quite like a younger model. A grand son would be acceptable. If he is good at swashing his sword, all the better.

Anyway, worryingly, my daydream and make believe thoughts haven't left me with age. I am still probably the worst for coming up with far fetched scenarios and situations that I hope to one day get into. Over the years, they have had many a main character, be it an ex who has been a twat monkey, and I get my revenge, or a celeb who I decide is for me, and therefore work out how we'll meet / fall in love. Here is a list of some of these, and how the stories went...they haven't got a lot better in some cases since Richard Chamberlain....

1) Donal McIntyre. The Irish bloke, who in the late 1990's had a show on TV called McIntyre Uncovered. In this programme, he infiltrated the dark and devious criminal worlds - the Chelsea gangs corrupting English football; the Nigerian mobsters scamming the Grannies of Britain, to the care home not caring for its patients. The fact he had to live in secret, away from his family due to death threats, made him all the more attractive. Mixed with the Irish accent, I was hooked. My Donal daydream, involved me meeting him at an awards ceremony, where he would be presenting me with an award (can't quite recall what for - Nobel Peace Prize maybe?). He'd be minus the death threats by now, and to Fatboys Slim's "Right Here, Right Now" we'd lock eyes, and fall in love. Not too sure when the Fat Boy Slim element came in - must've been my song of choice at the time. Now, after seeing him last year on Dancing On Ice, I'm a bit disturbed by my lust.

2) Moving on from the charm and danger of Mr McIntyre, my day dream moved swiftly onto another Irish rogue - Shane from Westlife. This was during a particularly tough Christmas at work, when Westlife saw me and my Assistant manager through the days. This caused the daydreaming to begin. This time, it started with the words of the glorious Shane being sung at me...in my mind it was all for me. I was even willing to get over the fact he's called Shane (which lets face it, is right up there on the namest scale). The day dream went that he saw me front row at a concert, and it was love at first sight (a theme is occurring, I know). This day dream got so far that I caused a rift in the band between Shane and Ronan (at the time he was managing them with Mr Walsh). Obviously, Shane chose me, and to this day, I still believe I could be the reason Ronan gave up his managing responsibilities. Anyway, I saw them live, and went off Shane when he actually got off the stool and tried to dance. It was like a bad Uncle at a wedding. Shame Shane, you had potential.

3)Now I'm sure that between Shane and about three years ago, there were many day dreaming subjects. I know I had a Tom Cruise fetish for a while, bought on by a revival in my video collection of Cocktail and Top Gun. But for the life of me I can't pin down one memorably one, until The Doctor. David Tenant. This one got so bad that when I got offered the chance to have one ticket for the closing night of Hamlet, or go to my friends birthday party, I was very tempted to say "alas poor H, somethings come up". I didn't however, and instead had an enjoyable evening dressed as a Mexican (with a full tash and fake cigar - it was a great look). Anyhoo, in this day dream, David and I meet on The Jonathan Ross show, where we are both guests. I am by now a world famous writer - the new Helen Fielding. David has just won an Oscar for his movie adaptation of Hamlet. We all go out to dinner after the show, and love blossoms. We get married in the little chapel at Edinburgh Castle, me wearing a lovely simple number, David a kilt. I only call him David, not Dave. He also can only speak in an English accent as i don't fancy him when he's Scottish. He won't mind this, as we are madly in love.

4)Obviously, you all know my current day dream - the gorgeous, and not with Jennifer Aniston (not in my world anyway) Gerard Butler. As I am still in the delusional believe that GB will one day be Mr Danger, I am bound not to divulge how we meet and fall madly in love. Because you will one day be reading about it in the News Of The World / Heat / Hello. But I will tell you that I move in next door to him. Even that's to much - I'm tempted to delete.

Now, most of you will probably have been reading this thinking that my lent agreement with the Big G (to give up men) has led me to madness, but I will now give you evidence of the contray. You see, daydreamers are some of the most successful people in history. Albert Einstein. Richard Branson. Walt Disney. Beethoven. All these great men focused on the path to success, through daydreaming. Now, if you therefore apply the same theory to me, we have a success story to end all success stories! I visualise my goal and the success - daydream as to how to get there, and before you know it, Gerard and I are walking down the aisle. Simples ladies and gentlemen! Visualise, daydream = success. Mrs Gerard butler, here I come! And all you nasty exes out there, be warned. I'm visualising a lot of sick willies and bad performing. Or is that I'm remembering a lot of sick willies and bad performances?