Britains Got New Talent or The Ex Factor?

Recently I seem to have bee stuck in a bit of a rut and more recently, a time warp. The rut is the lack of normal, single blokes - I've had a few dodgy meets, and a few non starters, but no spark has been ignited. Then, we have the time warp - a string of exes and past datees popping up like the Spring flowers in my garden, professing that we "have to meet up". I truly refuse to believe that there is no nice men out there at the mo, and I have always disliked going back. But, I'm in a rut, so here are my candidates, some up for re-election, and some newbys. (FYI - I'm thinking an election style debate would solve this conundrum, but I'm not sure Sky would pay....)

So, running for re-election, we have three candidates, all equal in their good and bad points.....

The Paramedic...
Previous Position - Ex Datee
Age - 31 ish me thinks
Profession - have a guess
For: Fantastic body. Amusing. Phones me drunk on occasion, thus can't moan if I ever do the same. Fantastic body. Saves lives for a living - a very sexy trait. Did I mention his fantastic body?
Against: Doesn't get when I'm joking - slightly insecure I think. On our date, he let me pay for lunch. Slightly big nostrils. Has a tendency of sending me random naked pics when I haven't actually asked for them, or had pre-warning. Once caused a very embarrassing moment when one came through as I was sat next to my boss and she saw. And then showed everyone else at the table. My colleagues. Saving lives, though very sexy, means he is always working.

The Copper....
Previous position - Ex Datee / semi boyfriend
Age - I'll say 34
Profession - guess.... you're getting good at this..
For: Really nice guy. Easy to talk to. Has family nearby, so can multi-location date. Good in bed. Nice body. Has access to handcuffs.
Against: Makes no sound during sex - highly off putting, and at times, confusing. His bro has dated my mate - all a bit incestuous within the area. Has disappeared off the face of the earth not once, but TWICE. The first time, not actually telling me why for 3 days, then getting a friend to finish with me via text. (NB - I found this out when we dated the second time - he had no idea how he'd done it - twat head). Both times, he had books of mine, so both times I had to become a nutty librarian to get them back. Those that know me, know i am passionate about my books.

The Colombian Drub Dealer
Previous Position - friend and Ex datee
Profession - got ya - he's in sales at the mo
Age - 30 going on 13
For: Very funny. Knows how to make me smile, despite the fact that it annoys me (I don't know why - analyse that all you like). Good kisser. Very good dancer. Serenaded me in the street twice. Amazing phone jacker impression.(FYI- NOT GAY MH, if you are reading this!)
Against: Lies a lot. Goes through jobs like a hooker goes through condoms. Speaks a bit "street" at times. Calls me "babe" alot. Didn't turn up on my 30th birthday when he was supposed to be my date. Has a whole blog dedicated to why I would never date him again. (Oops - I have agreed to see him for a drink Saturday....)

The newbies:

The TLC Man
Profession - something very professional & managerial to do with IT
Age - 37
For: Good job, knows what he wants in life. Good looking. Seems normal. Likes to tell me I'm gorgeous. Has invited me for a romantic candlelit meal - LD likes a bit of romance. Asked what I'd do if he whisked me off to Venice. ("GO" was my answer).
Against: His excessive use of the term TLC and asking me if I need it (TLC that is). He also seems to think my career may infringe on my time with him, as I work weekends. Assumes I would want to spend my weekends with him. Seems to want to find a wife.

The Arty Man
Profession - media
Age - 34, but looks 40
For: On the surface, shares similar interests with me - ie films, books etc. Is Northern, and I do like a Northerner. Made a really funny joke the other day, very dark, but clever. Comes across very self assured. Quirky but good looking.
Against - If it wasn't a joke, then it was in fact very weird....Seems to always be wearing a hat, suggesting an issue with baldness. The films he likes, seem to be weird and dark....like the joke....possible psycho nutter....hmmm...and the hats seem of the knitted variety worn by those on e-fits on Crime Watch....

The Child
Profession - banker, supposedly
Age - 25, hence the name
For: FIT FIT FIT. Lives locally. FIT FIT FIT. Won't want to get married quickly. Good job. FIT FIT FIT. Will have FIT FIT FIT mates for my single friends. Do like teaching a younger model some tricks...I'm like a female Paul Daniels me.
Against: He lives locally. I've probably met him when smasho, and therefore said or done something daft in his presence. Having to keep up with a 25 year old sounds exhausting....and if he truly is a banker, he will no doubt be a prize prick with money.

So they are my current "rut" busters, both past and present....Not a great bunch, but as I have always said, you have to shovel through the shit, to find the diamond. Not sure my diamond is in this bunch, or whether they all deserve a go, but if I don't get out of this rut soon, Lady Danger may well become Lady Docile, and no one wants that to happen, especially me....